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About Me Premium Member Shock Writer bee-sting17/Female/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Apathy, the new black.

Sat Jul 25, 2009, 10:35 PM
Lookies please! => [link]

I'm laughing at myself tonight.

Wondering how I could have been so blind as to think people were my friends. Wanted to be with me. I sing Better Be Home Soon and laugh again, realizing that nobody is coming home.

More than a stoic sense of apathy, I am angry. Furious. With myself, and with them. How dare they? How dare /I/? How could I have been so niave? How could they have been so cruel?

I hate that I have to keep going back. There was a time when I did it volunterily - when I kept returning because I believed they were good people. Now, I want to disappear. If I never saw another one of them again it would be too soon.

I have another eight weeks of hell. 66 hours in total of recesses and lunch times to survive. Beyond that, life looks peachy.

I'm over this shit.

I don't know how many loud conversations about how fun the weekend spent together was and what time they meet tonight I can take. I want to hurt them both; the first for rubbing salt in the wounds and the second for being so spineless that she can simply ignore the burning pain that I'm in. More than that, though, I want to hurt myself. The urge is constantly there, and I'm having to fight tooth and nail against it.

If these are the best years of my life, I'm fucked.

I've had enough. Want off of this ride right now.

Bess

Friends:
:iconvithevampire: :iconscottish-gardeners: :iconoreoswithpb: :iconmorgan-la-femme:

Clubs:
:iconcolormeclub: :iconbloodstainedwords: :iconthe-character-club: :iconrainydaysclub: :iconbehindthetears: :iconweekly-deviant:
:icondevsagainsttwilight: :iconthechallengeclub: :iconda-naturist:








  • Mood: Isolated
  • Listening to: Wild is the Wind, David Bowie
  • Reading: Ghost Stories.
  • Eating: little

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: The back of my sanity, under a purple box.
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: the biggest it comes in. -pokes self-
  • Interests: Roleplay, yaoi, yuri, Viola, gardening, dressmaking, photomanip, pencil work.
  • Favourite movie: The Princess Bride, Little Fish, Strictly Ballroom, Muriel's Wedding, Braveheart.
  • Favourite band or musician: Darren Hayes.
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative / indie
  • Favourite artist: Alphonse Mucha
  • Favourite poet or writer: Alfred Noyles or Shakespeare (to be corny)
  • Favourite style of art: Macarbe
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: Anything but Ipod
  • Skin of choice: Human
  • Favourite cartoon character: Pussyfoot
  • Personal Quote: Don't try to fix me - I'm not broken.
  • Tools of the Trade: Pencils, Camera, good felt tip, paints, good fine brush, 'practice' art books.

Comments


:iconkevis:
Thanks for the favourite :)

--
Meanwhile everyone wants to breathe and nobody can. Many say, “We will breathe later.”
And most of them don’t die because they are already dead.
:iconbee-sting:
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:iconomnibob8:
Thank you very much! :meow:

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:iconbee-sting:
<3 welcome!

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Stay connected.
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:iconcreativemikey:
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