I don't really know how to start this, other than to say that I feel so angry with myself.

I thought I saw my one and only ex today. The resemblance was uncanny - down the the voice, the hair, the glasses. And i felt physically ill.

I haven't seen him in almost a year. I have no wish to see him. But today, I thought it really was him. i was shaking and breathing erratically. I could feel people around me staring - I must have been white as a sheet.

And i felt so angry that even the memory of that bastard can still reduce me to such depths. I felt so angry with myself for not just turning away and ignoring him.

And I still am angry... that it has made me so miserable. that i can't forget it.

I want to kill him.... I think that's the only way I would ever truely be rid of him. Though that would mean looking at him again. And I don't think I could do it.